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I cannot say this in a nice way. It's simply impossible.

You don't know anything about writing or game design.

Yeah that's fair, we both aren't professional after all, this is our first project together, on top of that I'm still new to writing in this way so there's going to be some growing pains but you cant get better at something unless you keep trying. hopefully you'll stick around for the proper demo were hoping to have ready some time next year once all the art is completed

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I'm not a professional either. I've never made a game. I have, however, passed middle school English, and I have also played games before. Based on this performance, I cannot reasonably conclude that you have done either. This is beyond atrocious.

If you legitimately want to improve this game, my suggestion would be to stop working on it for now, learn English, and learn what mechanics good games have, then come back to it.

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This is harsh. The text is legible, and all they would have to do is find a proofreader.

On that note, I do recommend Gaia Online for anyone who wants to learn writing good English quickly. It's far better than taking a class.

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I think the issue is a cultural one, I speak English as my first and only language and I had 5 people read the script beforehand (we are looking into sensitivity readers but one step at a time) but only 1 of them was American and she was the only one who ever had issues with certain parts (and even between the 5 of them and the rest of the team we still missed lots of little spelling errors in the original demo), but the team and myself are from Australia and when it comes to writing I've always had an unorthodox approach, I'm also well aware my writing isn't perfect and that was largely the point of this little demo, to get any tangible feedback as well as find some bugs. as for the original commenter, their comment history seems to be largely negative (and that's fine) so me and the team are taking the (admittedly lackluster) critique with a grain of salt but also I value the feedback regardless and appreciate the interaction

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No, this is not an issue of culture. It's an issue of you not knowing how to write. If you're actually a native English speaker, then the problem is with your writing skills. They're horrible, even in these comments. You have yet to construct a proper English sentence. Not writing properly isn't an Australian thing; it's a not knowing how to write thing.

Also, at this point I do not believe you are a native English speaker, nor do I believe you sent this to a single proofreader. In actuality I think you are a massive fucking troll and deserve to be banned.

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I've now posted your quite ludicrous comment in a meme group for bad English, because your English is simply hilariously bad.

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Okay, so, I don't see how we can change each character's gender. Are they all dependant on the soccer choice?

yes, if you express interest in the player following you during the match this will lead into the straight option, however if you ask about the other player it will lead into the gay/lesbian option, but later down the line we plan to add a bisexual option where you can choose each character's gender individually

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Have you considered just making this an html game? It's less art and it should be easier for scripting things like that.

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we made the game in renpy so it can be played on android as it is both mine and many others preferred platform to play visual novels like this on, also we plan on having lots or art later on so html really wouldn't suit this project in the long run

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Gotcha, though just fyi anyone can play html, renpy, and rpgmaker games on android with Joiplay.